Name calling, shoving, cursing, throwing equipment- all actions witnessed during local youth sporting events. But it’s not the players acting this way- it’s the parents. At a recent lacrosse game, the referee threatened to terminate the game unless the coaches stopped yelling at each other. Insults and obscenities were exchanged by both teams. “I don’t know who’s younger: the players or the coaches,” said referee Jason Owens. “I usually ignore it, but today it’s out of control.”
John D. DiCamillo, the athletic director for the Cowboys youth football organization, has coached for 10 years. He said he was embarrassed last year after seeing two parents from opposing teams pushing and shoving each other after a youth basketball game. “I had to take the team aside but they still saw it. That’s what I hate about it. If parents do that enough times in front of their son or daughter, the kids grow up thinking that’s appropriate behavior because they see it so often.”
Plenty of people will tell you that out-of-control parents are ruining youth sports. That’s why leagues now have parents sign a code of conduct, promising to be on their best behavior during sporting events. While the signed document gives the league ammunition to oust the parent from the field or league, it does not solve the problem entirely. It happens all the time-parents scream at a child who misses a basket or a tackle; They throw chairs when their team loses; and if they believe the umpire made a bad call, they insult him and continue to make verbal jabs the rest of the game. No wonder more than 70 percent of youth athletes quit by the age of 13-such pressure from the bleachers!
The Citizenship Through Sports Alliance conducted a survey of 6-14-year-old athletes last year. In the survey, parental behavior received a grade of “D.” The Tucson Youth Football League has had so many behavior issues with parents that the organization adopted a zero-tolerance policy last year. There are no more warnings or second chances. The new policy came after a parent threw a chair at a coach and another parent marched out onto the football field during a game because he was irate over a referee’s call. How did it get so out of control? Is a code of conduct really going to change the atmosphere of youth sporting events? The problem is multifaceted and requires more than a piece of paper signed by parents. Here are some of the issues:
-Parents entrench themselves as coaches and on the board of directors of leagues and clubs, making themselves more powerful than other parents.
-Too many parents are pushing their child to play beyond the child’s abilities or desire.
-Parents have an unrealistic dream of a college scholarship for their young athlete. Studies show that, in reality, only one in 56 high school athletes is able to receive an athletic college scholarship. (That doesn’t necessarily mean a full scholarship, either.)
-Trash-talking, violence and cheating are more common among parents and coaches.
-Umpires and game officials are being physically and verbally abused.
Some people complain youth sports are too competitive, too intense and too focused on winning. If the competition was more relaxed, would parents be more relaxed? Would the players have more fun? Would more children participate in sports? Would more children quit because it’s not as competitive? There is no easy answer. The most obvious solution is improving parental behavior. Parents need to remember their role on the sidelines: cheerleader and supporter. No one asked them to coach, referee or play the role of chief critic. They are there because their child has chosen to play a sport, learn fundamentals, have fun and make friends. The Citizenship Through Sports Alliance, a coalition of professional and amateur athletics organizations, offers this advice to parents: “You can play. You can coach. You can officiate. You can be a fan. But you need to pick just one and respect the others. Know your role.”
